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It's hard to believe that the stories in Plane Insanity, the hilarious book by Elliott Hester, are true. But they are. Before you read even a single page, you know you're in for a wild ride just from the subtitle: A Flight Attendant's Tales of Sex, Rage, and Queasiness at 30,000 Feet. Hester has encountered just about everything in his 16 years of flying the skies or "riding tin," and he recounts these laugh-out-loud encounters with plenty of attitude and self-deprecating humor. Not to spoil the fun, but a few juicy tidbits include Hester as the hapless victim of a child's projectile vomit, chasing a sparrow around the cabin, mistakenly putting a woman on the wrong flight, and recalling the unfathomable account of an inebriated man defecating atop a liquor cart, to the horror of passengers and crew. Just when you think the stories can't get anymore outlandish he outdoes himself with the titillating antics of amorous couples who vie for membership in the infamous Mile High Club. And did our Mr. Hester himself ever become a member of this elite club? You'll have to read the book to find that out. Believe me, you'll be glad you did – this is one of the year's funniest reads. – Amazon.com In his debut book of hilarious essays, syndicated columnist Hester expertly recounts "lowlights" from his 16-year career as a flight attendant for a major U.S. airline. Like an angrier, more street-wise Dave Barry, Hester zeroes in on bad trips, in flight fighting, intolerable co-workers and airline procedures, broken airplanes, bad layovers and sex on airplanes (aka the "Mile High Club"). Addicted to "travel by whim," Hester isn't complaining – "The ability to fly for next to nothing is the reason I took this job." He's just sharing: "I once saw a drunken couple puke on each other until they looked as if they'd emerged from a pool of oatmeal. I watched a smug-faced man receiving high altitude fellatio from a woman he'd just met on the flight," as well as "full-blown airplane brawls, passenger stampedes, a flight attendant in the midst of a nervous breakdown, passengers in various stages of undress, and stressed-out flyers attempting to open the emergency exit six miles above the Atlantic." These and other stories (an onboard robbery in which $500,000 was stolen on a 727) will be a revelation to anyone who has flown. Hester's careful, well-paced descriptions show that what happens behind the scenes is worse than one could imagine and that modern attendants take this craziness for granted. Hester also provides a wide assortment of various other true-life airline shenanigans taken from newspapers and wire service reports, which adds to his book's lurid charm. – Publisher's Weekly One of the most talented writers I've come across in recent years, Elliott Hester has a masterful sense of storytelling and a deft touch with humor. PLANE INSANITY is not only informative, it is pound-on-the-floor funny! – John Flinn, Travel Editor, San Francisco Chronicle Elliott Hester has seen it all–everything we suspected about the world of flight attendants unfolds in PLANE INSANITY and much we could never imagine. By turns funny, outrageous, and revealing, PLANE INSANITY is to airlines what Ball Four is to baseball. – Keith Bellows, Editor-in-Chief, National Geographic Traveler Cram a plane full with nervous flyers, vacationing partyers, and oversexed couples; take them to 30,000 feet; and let your imagination go–you'll soon have a good idea of the rich material Elliott Hester has to draw from in his book, PLANE INSANITY. Hester's easy-going writing style and razor-sharp attention to detail breezes readers through some of the most outrageously funny stories they'll find in print. From highly-strung crew members to passengers bucking for membership into the infamous Mile High Club, Hester's characters and anecdotes reveal not only an intimate knowledge of the airline industry, but a keen talent for storytelling that keeps the pages turning. – Jackson Mahaney, Managing Editor, Endless Vacation Flyer Beware: this book doesn't have many good things to say about the thrilling adventure that is air travel. The author, who switched from baggage handling to in-flight service when it dawned on him that flight attendants didn't have to work outside in subzero weather, has pretty much seen 'em all: unruly passengers, sick passengers, amorous passengers, drunk passengers, nasty passengers, even flight attendants you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. Hester, who also writes a syndicated column ("Out of the Blue") and articles for various magazines, is a skillful raconteur, and no matter how bizarre or maddening the story, he tells it with grace and abundant good nature. Flight attendants, if this book is any indication, work in an environment that could make a war zone seem sedate, and we emerge from this comic horror show with a new respect and admiration for them. Fans of humorist Dave Barry or travel writer Bill Bryson, should not miss this one. – Booklist Hop a ride with Elliott Hester as he dodges punches, defuses human stink bombs and sidesteps stomach distress, celebrity critters and First-Class stowaways. With humor and poignant humanity, Hester confirms what you always suspected: that the flight attendants are thinking exactly what you are–unless you're the whiskey-sodden pugnacious toad in 15B who is making the rest of us miserable. – Jane Wooldridge, Travel Editor, Miami Herald In PLANE INSANITY Elliott Hester dishes out the dirt from his bird's eye view of the aisle. Everyone who's ever flown will recognize at least one character, one incident, one exasperating moment. – Marjorie Robins, Travel Editor, New York Newsday Hester has a sharp eye for human folly... As he copes with turbulence, uncooperative technology and air-rage-crazed passengers, Hester gives us a window-seat view of what life in the air is "really" like. – Scott Rosenberg, Managing Editor, Salon.com What a great book! Elliott Hester's insider view of air travel is by turns hilarious, insightful and even touching. – Larry Bleiberg, Travel Editor, The Dallas Morning News Hester, a gifted story teller with a sly sense of humor, has written the perfect airplane book. – Tim Cahill, Author, Pecked to Death by Ducks I have always thought that some of the more interesting stories in travel could be told by flight attendants, if only one dared to tell the truth. I waited a long time without any hope, but then I heard the voice of Elliott Hester. It had the desired quality of veracity, and it also had charm, youthfulness, and a fine sense of the absurd. In this day of air rage, nothing could be a more timely tonic than Elliott Hester's captivating observations from inside the cabin. – Thomas Swick, Travel Editor, Sun-Sentinel (Ft. Lauderdale) Anyone who has ever flown the (un)friendly skies will appreciate Elliott Hester's wicked wit and wisdom. PLANE INSANITY should be required reading for every businessman and woman in coach. Pack light, but don't leave home without this funny and frightening book. – Julie Cooper, The Express-News (San Antonio) Hester's witty tales and sensuous, cautionary parables, offer an insider's view to travel, sex, and social etiquette. Not found in any prosaic guide, they are indispensable. – Nick Charles, People Better than anyone on earth, Elliott Hester chronicles the circus of modern air travel–the rage, the bovine overcrowding, the inexplicable delays, the abject cruelties–with an entertaining edge borne from years of insider experience. Pack PLANE INSANITY and you may actually enjoy your flight. – Andrew Essex, Articles Editor, Details You'll pee in your panties reading PLANE INSANITY... if you wear panties. – Amy Alkon, syndicated newspaper columnist |
